10 Ways Not To Make Your Friends Libertarian

Libertarians are, in all honesty, the cringe lords of Facebook. They’ve become the Jehovah’s witnesses of the internet.

Libertarianism is a movement with a ton of wonderful people in it, many simply read paperwork on economics and policy, are very smart and go on to living productive and happy lives. That said, it seems like these are only one in every dozen. The rest are a combination of Chris Cantwell, James Weeks, and a bunch of people somewhere on the spectrum, they are not the best marketers.

I’ve made a list of ten things libertarians seem to be doing (common and bizarre trends) which are not helping in making their movement a thing.

10. Make your profile picture a meme 

Let’s explain something very basic. If you want to be a person, be a freaking person! There’s nothing more bizarre, or weird, than when someone sees a Facebook profile of a dude they know, went to school with, or are related to, and it’s just some ugly Facebook profile photo of a dumb meme saying some libertarian buzzword.

Have a photo with friends!

Have a photo looking good!

Have a photo visiting a cool location!

Do not be some junk mass produced meme!

9. Become a pseudo-intellectual douche bag 

This is something that belongs higher on the list, but it’s something to just get out of the way early on.

I have questions for many libertarians: Do you hold a master’s or PhD in economics? Are you some sort of successful business owner? Are you someone of really any relevance in this world?

Look at the podcasts, the blogs, the candidates, and more. It’s all people who, well…aren’t anybody.

However, it’s all “Oh, like my Facebook page devoted to me! I have a dozen of them!”

It’s great to be smart. It’s great to want to be a face in a movement. It’s not great to come off as an egotistical prick – I’m looking at you Steve Patterson.

8. Talk about how the end is near 

This one I just don’t really get, the economy  and world  is a wonderful place, and I’ve noticed a lot of libertarians (more so the Ron Paul people) saying the world will come to an end if libertarianism doesn’t take over. I’ve flat out had people say America is in the verge of becoming a third world nation, and that’s just silly.

Life is awesome, and whether it’s Trump, Bernie, Clinton, or whoever, America and the world has a positive future.

7. Constantly talk about legalizing prostitution

This is where we enter the world of “creepertarians.”

Yes, I want prostitution to be legal. Yes, I think it is a big issue for some people. However, unless you are a woman, just don’t make this your issue. The numbers of creepy people I see who fixate on this random issue (all of whom tend to be socially autistic males) needs to stop.

6. Convince yourself Austin Petersen & Larry Sharpe are serious candidates

This is a Libertarian Party problem and it’s a big one. The LP, to survive, needs big and powerful names.

We need to get on the phone with every millionaire and billionaire who didn’t vote for Trump or Clinton and find out if they are compatible with libertarianism. We need to go beg Jeff Flake, Rand Paul, Bill Weld and Justin Amash to be in the liberty movement.

When I see these “non-candidates” being taken as serious contenders, I laugh and so do non libertarians.

5. Talk about how much pot you smoke 

I have never had a drink of alcohol. I have never smoked pot. I have never smoked a cigarette. I have never consumed any caffeine. I don’t plan to.

This is where I sadly had an issue with Gary Johnson, a guy I really admire.

I idolize Gary Johnson as the libertarian governor who would climb mountains and build companies. I’m not so fixated on him running around talking about how much he loves marijuana.

Now, with Gary it’s kind of cool. Having a guy that successful actually saying how he has casually smoked marijuana and is still a giant success is cool. However, when less successful libertarians run around talking about their bag of pot, we have an issue.

4. Wear a fedora

Remember, every time a libertarian wears a fedora, three Bernie backers are born.

3. Borderline sexually harass Julie Borowski in the comments of her Facebook page

Julie Borowski is probably the best speaker in the liberty movement now who actually makes good content. To see a bunch of freaky dudes online say very perverse things to her in the comments on her Facebook is gross.

Also, this goes beyond Julie into how a lot of libertarians treat women in general. Some just need to grow up.

2. Never shut up about “Taxation is Theft” & “The NAP.”

Want libertarianism to work?

Talk about deregulation in the energy markets cutting costs to ten bucks a barrel.

Talk about making it so undocumented workers will get amnesty.

Talk about the FDA being restructured to allow for massively lower priced pills.

Talk about a practical plan to cut taxes in half.

Talk about how great it’d be to have a generation that didn’t have to go to war.

The NAP is a philosophical BS statement that no non- libertarian understands and those who run on about it should just get a community college philosophy class to teach at.

“Taxation is theft” is a meme, taxes need to exist. This is a dumb radicalism.

And the biggest of them all, number one…

1. Being known as that libertarian guy

One big mistake, is that too many libertarians get obsessed with this and become little else than someone obsessed with politics. Travel the world. Succeed in academics or business. Take up cool hobbies such as music, art, archery or whatever. Do not be that jackass posting twenty times a day on Facebook about some stupid topic.

That’s all I’ve got.

This post was written by Charles Peralo.

The views expressed here belong to the author and do not necessarily reflect our views and opinions.

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  • I just say I want to keep the government out of my pockets/bank accounts, and out of my bedroom. I just want to be left the hell alone.

  • I believe this is people that do not know what Libertarianism is. There has been a influx of fake Libertarians in the last few years, they have tainted the movement. As a Libertarian I have talked to many of these fakers and they don’t understand a damn thing about how the world works. Real Libertarians are out there and Real Libertarians don’t do these things.

    • DefectiveSpleen

      Totally agree!

    • Strlngerbell

      Well if it isn’t the no true Scotsman argument and in a libertarian article of all places. I for one am shocked….

      • No it makes since if you understand the political spectrum

        • Strlngerbell

          Makes sense to me =p

  • Joe

    You lost me when you claimed Bill Weld is a better candidate than Larry Sharpe…
    Just because you have name recognition does not mean you are a good choice for candidacy.

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  • Anastasia Mccarter

    “How not to be a libertarian:
    Stop being a libertarian”.
    That’s what I got out of that. The serious ones anyway…

  • You were doing pretty good until: “Talk about making it so undocumented workers will get amnesty.”

    That’s not what Libertarians want.

    That’s what Leftists (and Corporatists) want.

    It’s also what’s driving lots of Libertarians to the Alt-Right.

    Fuck off, cuck.

  • DefectiveSpleen

    You sound like some Millennial whiner. Back in the day the Libertarian Party was run and populated by folks who knew Rothbard and Childs. People who talked about the philosophy and economics of Mises, Hayek, Bastiat, et al. It was the Party of Principle when Ed Clark ran for President in 1980. Now it is just a mess because people no longer want to take the time to learn anything about the underlying principles of freedom and free markets.

    Even Harry Browne presented a coherent view of individual liberty. Today you have all these poseurs who have no clue about human action or how markets work. They think it’s cool to smoke dope and talk about prostitution.

  • Strlngerbell

    Here are some more ways – talk about the pitfalls of the environment and the ‘free market.’ Discuss in depth as to how the more organized a society / government/ people are the more prosperous they tend to be. Talk about the quality of government not size that is the key to prosperity and ultimately freedom. Nuance though and the modern libertarian movement (in America at least) oil and water if you ask me!

  • Caryn Ann Harlos

    Taxation is theft has been the LP position since its founding and was again a resolution last convention. What do I know, I am just a dumb radical. smh.

  • A. Alexander Minsky

    Overall very good advice. I am on the spectrum, but I strive to avoid resembling James Weeks or Chris Cantwell. And while I do have a bit of a crush on Lauren Rumpler, I behave appropriately on her Facebook page.

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