Augustus Invictus – The Reason Libertarians Can’t Have Nice Things
It often happens that when I am talking to some friends and the topic of politics comes up, they mention why they aren’t libertarians. They say they really like the general pitch of social freedom, capitalism and not bombing every country in the world. One friend who is a registered Democrat said they plan to vote for Gary Johnson in November and the other two are on the fence saying they’ll do it if he breaks 20% in the polls and has at least a 5% shot at it.
The friend who is voting for Gary added “I’d actually join the LP, but you guys have a lot of real weirdos in it.” When I asked him to name which one weirdo, he pointed out the recent post that he’s read online. The heavy-set dude who stripped down into a thong on TV. Him watching the LP debate on C-SPAN and pointing out people getting booed for saying five year olds shouldn’t buy heroin and the blind shouldn’t get drivers’ licenses. He also said “And there’s that one freak I read about online who drinks goat blood in Florida.”
With that, let’s bring in the pagan elephant in the room himself: Augustus Sol Invictus.
There is a heated primary now in Florida between Augustus Invictus (“Augie” for short) and Paul Stanton. I’ve met both of them, looked at both candidates’ history/platform and decided I’d overwhelmingly support Stanton. And it has nothing to do with the fact he’s running against a Holocaust denier who admits to speaking at white supremacist events and claims he was born with the destiny of leading the Second American Civil War. It’s just due to Paul being a very smart person and principled libertarian.
Paul Stanton is a veteran and currently works in IT in Florida. He’s a young, pretty charismatic guy who simply wants to make America more free. If he’s the nominee, he’ll would go up against Marco Rubio and some generic Democrat the DNC is putting up for the November election. There, I feel the recent surge in new libertarians from the Johnson-Weld campaign and the unpopularity of the Democrats and GOP in Florida could give Paul a real shot to break out. He makes good points. He’s intelligent. He’s principled. He, unlike Rubio, is a veteran and has served his country. He’s a perfect candidate and I encourage all libertarians to take a look at him.
This is a bash article and I’m here to talk about Augie the KKKlown Invictus. Or, well, Austin Mitchell Gilespie. Yep, that’s right, he basically gave himself his own bizarre and humiliating stage name such as Cher, Lady Gaga and Lana Del Rey in order to go into politics.
I’m a kind of lazy, so I’m writing this article on a Sunday morning bored and just eating some hash browns. So instead of me writing a big piece on why this man is a KKKlown, I’m going to just use his own quotes and allow the reader to get an opinion of him:
“Witness ye the glory of my life at 29 years of age: I have four children, each of whom should be the envy of every parent in the world; I have attained a Baccalaureate Degree in Philosophy with honors; I have attained a Doctorate in Law, cum laude; I have acquired licenses in the profession of law in the States of New York, Illinois, and Florida; I am scheduled to acquire two more such licenses in North Carolina & Massachusetts; I am Editor-in-Chief of a poetry journal; I run an independent publishing company; I have opened my own law office in downtown Orlando; I am an MBA candidate; and I have accomplished a few other things that will remain off the record for now.
I am of genius intellect & cultured, well-educated & creative, well-mannered & refined. I am God’s gift to humankind where the English language is concerned, and I also happen to have a basic knowledge of Latin, Greek, French, Spanish, and Italian. I am musical & artistic; I am athletic & possessed of militant self-discipline; and I am many other things. I have a Cadillac & a poodle, multiple computers & a personal library; I live in an apartment downtown, right across the street from the courthouse; I have been to Paris & Vancouver, to Cairo & Dubrovnik, to Mexico City & Siracusa. I dress better than all of you, pronounce my words perfectly, and have a winning, professional handshake. I am everything you ever wanted to be.”
Where do I even begin on this one?
Are we in the 19th century now?
“I am God’s gift to humankind”
As an atheist, I can probably say he is what God would give humanity.
“I have a Cadillac & a poodle”
I’m also going to point out this guy has a law degree from DePaul University and BA from Southern Florida. I’m not going to bash the guy’s intelligence, but saying he’s a genius might just be an overstatement. Just a bit…
“WITNESS YE MY RENUNCIATION:
I hereby renounce my licenses to practice law, my diplomas, my affiliation with Rollins, DePaul, and the University of South Florida, my United States citizenship, my membership in the Roman Catholic Church, my law firm, my publishing company & poetry journal, and all of my material possessions.
To those who believe that this great renunciation is evidence of mental illness rather than the initiation of a spiritual journey: If my example stirs nothing in you, if you can see no further than the confines of what your secular humanism & its hallowed psychiatry allow, then there is nothing I can say to you that would wake you from your slumber. You are less than the beast in man. You are fungi. Would to God that you pass quickly from this Earth.
HEAR YE MY FINAL WORDS IN PEACETIME:
I have prophesied for years that I was born for a Great War; that if I did not witness the coming of the Second American Civil War I would begin it myself. Mark well: That day is fast coming upon you. On the New Moon of May, I shall disappear into the Wilderness. I will return bearing Revolution, or I will not return at all.
War Be unto the Ends of the Earth,”
Augie Solum Grundy
So a few points here…
If he renounced being a citizen, why is he still running for the Senate?
Do any of his supporters hear the point where he says he prophesied a second civil war and not just go “This guy is out of his freaking mind.”
I’ll bet him $10,000 and his poodle that there’s no civil war to come in the next 25 years. I’ll sign a contract on it!
And the lunatic strikes again with even more deranged quotes.
“I did sacrifice a goat. I know that’s probably a quibble in the mind of most Americans.”
Augie the Goat Killer
Does anyone seriously think any human being can expand the liberty movement while saying this? Does anyone honestly just look at the idea of free markets, social freedoms and anti-war policies going “The guy, admitting to sacrificing a goat and drinking its blood, is really how we get there.”? This is nuts!
“It has been said that I associate with neo-Nazis and skinheads. You’re goddamn right I do. I am a criminal defense lawyer, and I am proud of the work I have done for the American Front.”
Augie Friend To All Skinheads
Do I think neo-Nazis have a right to a fair trial? Of course. This guy has, however, spoken at their events, meetings and marketed himself to them saying he’s their guy. He’s never disavowed their practices even when I’ve asked them and just seems to be hiding behind his kids being slightly mixed-race as his shield to say he’s not a white supremacist.
Here are a few things to note from my interactions with him:
- He’s openly told me he is a 9/11 truther and embraces that.
- He wouldn’t comment when I asked him if he’s a Holocaust denier.
- He supports Donald Trump.
- He seems fine having his supporters harass his opponent on the phone.
- He publicly has called for violence against the government and media.
- He openly admits to having favorable views of eugenics.
This guy is why libertarians can’t have nice things…
He is the example of a mentally unwell man running for office and doing what crazy people on the subways in Manhattan do, but the LP and white supremacist groups just gave him a podium. He’s feeding young radicals bait in this false claim that he’s some sort of prophet. A guy who literally runs around admitting to killing goats in sacrifices and making very bizarre comments regarding the Holocaust and other issues.
For this, I urge every libertarian to ensure he is not the LP nominee. The humiliation it’d bring will create another reason in the every growing list of reasons why people don’t join the liberty movement.
I also encourage people to contact Paul Stanton who is his opponent, and realize he’s more libertarian over Augustus and would make the liberty movement proud and Florida proud to see him on the ballot.
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