BREAKING: North Korea Bans Sarcasm

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In something seemingly out of The Onion, North Korea has banned their people from officially making sarcastic comments about Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un or his totalitarian regime within everyday conversation.

However, unlike The Onion, we can assure you that this is very real. In fact, residents were warned about criticizing the state during a series of mass meetings that were held by functionaries across the country.

Sources say that “The main point of the lecture was to ‘Keep Your Mouths Shuts'”. The caution was also issued within neighboring Chinese province of Yangang. However, other sarcastic comments such as “This is all America’s fault” will also be deemed unacceptable criticism of the regime.

While it was not reveled what the punishment would be for breaking the laws of making sarcastic statements, we could imagine that hard labor would be involved. North Korea maintains a reputation for liberal usage of labor and reeducation camps as punishment, as administrated by the “Ministry of People’s Security.”

“This habit of the central authorities of blaming the wrong country when a problem’s cause obviously lies elsewhere has led citizens to mock the party,” an anonymous source said.

Another mocking expression, “A fool who cannot see the outside world,” was also said to be circulating in the totalitarian state, referring to the country’s notoriously isolationist leader.

North Korea has taken part in multiple weapons tests recently, in displays of force intended to demonstrate the country’s developing nuclear capabilities. In fact, the United Nations have condemned the latest missile launch by the authoritarian country. This came after North Korea’s recent firing of three missiles on Monday, which traveled about 620 miles and landed near Japan.

It’s also important to note that multiple things such as drinking alcohol, watching TV, driving, playing music, talking to people abroad, believing in religion, leaving the country, surfing the web and multiple other seemingly everyday activities are banned in North Korea. However, in a strange twist, marijuana is not. North Korea may talk a big game, but in the global scheme, has yet to join the “first world” towards the path of prosperity. The first world being, of course, the part of the world that doesn’t ban normal human activities frivolously.

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