Quoth the Twitter Nevermore

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Once upon a midnight dreary, while I studied quantum theory
Flipping through chapters of equations that I have long abhorred
As I read Heisenberg, nearly skimming, suddenly there came a pa-pinging
As of my phone gently ringing, ringing as it sat there on my drawer
Tis my mom, I muttered, calling my phone on my drawer
Only this and nothing more.

Ah, distinctly I remember, t’was a cold, rainy November
As I struggled not to dismember the physics books scattered over the floor
For I knew a test awaited on the morrow, the rainy weather compounded sorrow
I missed the days outside my college borough, days of summers passed long before
Days of love and friendship, of evenings spent outdoors
Days that seemed gone forevermore.

As I returned to my studies, I heard once more the silence muddied
Muddied by a pinging coming from the phone on my drawer
So I said, “Mother I know you’re worried, but there’s no reason for texts so hurried”
While I opened my phone, the phone sitting on my drawer
And yet my homescreen it was empty, empty of texts to ignore
The pinging was unaccounted for.

I tried carrying on with my learning, but that pinging noise kept burning
Burning itself into my brain till I could no longer endure
So I swiped through my notifications, and there I found the vile causation
Of that ringing sensation that I had long grown to deplore
“Twitter,” I shouted, “your gimmicks have become an international eyesore
Quit your nonsense, I implore!”

Yet I, myself, swiftly descended into a realm of trolls and vengeance
Where anonymity allowed the most evil words to spore
Where world-known figures devolved to bickering, while others stood egging on and snickering
Endless drama filled my mind while my physics lay ignored on my floor
Finally I declared “Twitter, spread thy wings and fly out my door”
Quoth the Twitter, “Nevermore.”

“Your foul rhetoric poisons our discussions, leaves protesters with concussions
Ad hominem and logical fallacies are all employed to settle scores
All the meanwhile discourse crumbles, the ignorant outshout the humble
The country onto which my parents stumbled, onto its gleaming, sovereign shores
Your petulance must not haunt this nation anymore”
Quoth the Twitter, “Nevermore.”

I hid my phone, but whom was I kidding, for I would always hear the ringing
The ringing signaling another nasty blow in an incessant war
No matter where I went, everyone I met, the conversations we’d beget
Would always turn to, as I had fret, to the tweets I no longer could ignore
I pleaded to return to a brotherly land of yore
Quoth the Twitter “Nevermore.”

And so I sat, beat, outwitted, as another thousand dimwits tweeted
When I realized that truth knows no limits to its roar
Even in our age of deception, fact is not subject to perception
Falsehood must be fought in all arenas, every shore
It matters not who screams the loudest; history shall prove their claims groundless
As long as we are left to realize the future we look towards
And while the tweeter may sit and revel, that we descend down to his level
We shall calmly uphold the decency that we stand for
And we shall tell the Twitter, “Nevermore.”

And so I revisited my lessons, for the world needs answers to pressing questions
And I committed never to partake in the distortions I abhor
I would only speak what I believe true, and keep my mind open to learn anew
And thus inspire a committed few, to persist in our ceaseless war
We shall carry on as long as Twitter fiendishly rings upon our drawers
So that truth may reign forevermore!

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Adam Barsouk

Adam Barsouk is a student of medicine and health policy at Jefferson Medical College and a cancer researcher at the University of Pittsburgh. His family’s escape from the Soviet Union, and his experiences in the lab and the clinic, have inspired him to restore liberty to healthcare and the other depraved sectors of American life.