Shortcuts & Delusions: Rene Boucher Is A Hero & Patriot


This is satire.

Rene Boucher is a hero and patriot whose only crime was standing up to tyranny. That should be the take away from the altercation between himself and his neighbor, Kentucky Senator Rand Paul, the latter of whom suffered five broken ribs, bruised lungs and a few cuts and scrapes. The conservative news narrative is that Paul is a victim of assault, but closer examination of the story reveals a man, drunk from the power he wields as an entrenched and privileged member of the U.S. Senate, lording it over his peon neighbor.

The New York Times reports:

Mr. Paul had just stepped off a riding lawn mower on Friday when Rene Boucher, a retired anesthesiologist who lived next door, charged and tackled him. Because Mr. Paul was wearing sound-muting earmuffs, he did not realize Mr. Boucher was coming…

The senator grows pumpkins on his property, composts and has shown little interest for neighborhood regulations…

Competing explanations of the origins of the drama cited stray yard clippings, newly planted saplings and unraked leaves…

Matthew J. Baker, a lawyer for Mr. Boucher, called the matter “a very regrettable dispute” between neighbors over a “trivial” matter.

The incident “has absolutely nothing to do with either’s politics or political agendas,” Mr. Baker said in a statement on Monday. “It was a very regrettable dispute between two neighbors over a matter that most people would regard as trivial.” (…)

“They just couldn’t get along. I think it had very little to do with Democrat or Republican politics,” said Jim Skaggs, who developed the gated community and who lives nearby. “I think it was a neighbor-to-neighbor thing. They just both had strong opinions, and a little different ones about what property rights mean.”

Asked about long-leveled allegations that Mr. Paul had disregarded neighborhood regulations, Mr. Skaggs, who is also a former leader of the county Republican Party, said that the senator “certainly believes in stronger property rights than exist in America.”

The foundation of American civil society is irrevocably linked to property rights, and what happens when a member of government repeatedly disregards the property rights of his neighbors and constituents? He is justifiably attacked by the individual he is oppressing.


America is a nation of laws, not men. It is clear Paul sees himself as above the law; he believes any social contract that exists between himself and his neighbors is null and void since he is a member of the federal government, and he will ignore any city ordinances and housing development association rules concerning landscaping and property lines that he finds inconvenient.

He forced Boucher’s hand. In fact, Paul is lucky he was only tackled, and not shot, by Boucher, as is Boucher’s Second Amendment right to defend himself from tyranny from an all-powerful federal government.

Paul is a member of the American Aristocracy; he is a member of the elite ruling class of this country, and his privileged lineage can be traced all the way back to his father, Ron Paul. Ron Paul, in case you aren’t aware, was a U.S. Representative from Texas from 1976-7, 1979-85 & 1997-2013, and ran for President three times. Ron Paul’s Congressional career and his multiple presidential campaigns make it clear that he loved being in power. Both father and son are doctors (are we sensing a pattern yet?), and both cannot resist the temptation of statism.

The American Revolution was fought to throw off the yolk of British monarchy. Unfortunately, over the past couple of centuries, American politics has become rife with royal families who seek to maintain their hold on power: the Adams, the Harrisons, the Roosevelts, the Kennedys, the Bushes, the Clintons, and now the Pauls.

It would have behooved Paul to be more acquainted with the writings of Thomas Jefferson. If he was, he’d know T.J. once wrote, “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure.”

It’s ironic that this whole affair was initiated by where Paul had planted saplings. If Paul wasn’t so arrogant and truly believed in the property rights his neighbor was entitled to, this would never have happened. Boucher was refreshing the tree of liberty after Paul had planted trees of tyranny.


And that’s the way it is, as far as you know.



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Dillon Eliassen is a former Managing Editor of Being Libertarian. Dillon works in the sales department of a privately owned small company. He holds a BA in Journalism & Creative Writing from Lyndon State College, and needs only to complete his thesis for his Master’s of English from Montclair State University (something which his accomplished and beautiful wife, Alice, is continually pestering him about). He is the author of The Apathetic, available at He is a self-described Thoreauvian Minarchist.


  1. I <3 satire. I'm certainly hoping that this is exactly that.

    Yoke = a wooden crosspiece that is fastened over the necks of two animals and attached to the plow or cart that they are to pull.
    Yolk = the center part of an egg.

    The more you know.

  2. If this is not sarcasm/satire, it’s too stupid for words. If it is, it’s not that funny, and yolk’s something in an egg, not a yoke, you yokels.

  3. Assault is not an altercation. You’re about as libertarian as Hillary Clinton. I can’t believe how utterly stupid this moron Eliasson is…. In an interview today in the Washington Examiner, the president of the association has stated that no rules were broken, and there have been zero complaints. You’re a liar.

  4. This doesn’t even say what the fight was about, just that it was all Paul’s fault. Seems like a hatchet job. I wonder who funds this website.

  5. No matter HOW you take this article, two things must be eminently clear- this is perhaps the least Libertarian article written in the last four months, and its author is a moron. 😛

  6. Yes this a nation of laws. A man was attacked on his own property. The reason is irrelevant. Dillon Ellison has just proven himself to be an idiot

  7. I thought this was a joke, and kept reading to get to the punch line. That this is even on the “Being Libertarian” website is justification for me to block this tripe from Facebook foreseeable future. This is the most UN-LIBERTARIAN collection of letters and punctuation I’ve ever wasted my time reading.

    “The foundation of American civil society is irrevocably linked to property rights, and what happens when a member of government repeatedly disregards the property rights of his neighbors and constituents? He is justifiably attacked by the individual he is oppressing.”

    EXCUSE ME?! When someone disregards another’s rights, the response is to take it to the neighborhood housing administration or the police. “Justifiably attacked” is a nonsense term. There’s no justification for starting an attack that was not physical self-defense, and that is the crux of this whole issue.

  8. Satire should at least hint at something humorous, clever, ironic… something.
    This had some hysteria in tone, but not in funny sense, more like the angry Antifa rants.

  9. Quite possibly the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read. If this is the result of the “logic” produced by your brain, it’s a marvel that you aren’t yet in prison. If someone paid you for this, they should also be having their head examined. Truly and utterly disgusting.

  10. Hey Managing Editor Dillon Eliassen- No wonder the Libertarian Party is not garnering but losing so many members when they post this kind of infantile Mental Amoeba trash!

  11. Rand Paul is not a Libretaian,he is in fact a Republican . Remember he left the Libertarians party & joined the Republicans to back Mitt Romney in the Republican party & has been backing Trump since.

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