I should preface this list by confessing that I have a thorough and deep-seated dislike of the right.
I dislike their naive optimism on neoconservative foreign policy, I dislike their glee for pollution, and I dislike their casual disregard for lives outside of their own country.
I should also note of the left, that this doesn’t describe all of the leftists I’ve encountered.
That being said, as generic rules, here are five things the left does that really tick me off:
1) Pretend Things are Funny
Whether it’s covfefe, Bush’s grammatical slipups, Samantha Bee in general, or Melania’s plagiarized speech, the left can’t seem to stop laughing at things that are notably unfunny.
People post things by accident on social media, covfefe isn’t amusing.
Everyone confuses their words when talking from time to time; for reasons that elude me, the left decided it was a knee-slapper when Bush did it.
When Melania gave her famously plagiarized speech at the RNC it lit up social media – when Republicans retorted and posted videos of Obama’s plagiarism it suddenly dawned on the left that plagiarism is understandable and not entirely hilarious.
Laughter is a way of solidifying an inner ring mentality, it inculcates a “wise us” vs. “foolish them” relationship. When one of their own is the one looking foolish the incident’s true humor value shines through – it’s not funny at all.
2) Pretend Things are Offensive
There’s nothing more characteristic of the present age than offense.
It was little more than 15 years ago when a typical member of the right was incensed over the flamboyance of a Teletubby character.
Today it’s become a right wing punch line for things leftists find offensive – a punch line I refuse to engage in (see above).
There are, however, certain offenses that are absurd.
Five years ago Mitt Romney drew the ire of alleged feminists when he uttered the phrase, “binders full of women.”
The phrase binders full of women is not in any way offensive. It carries with it no hidden meaning.
It simply denotes that Romney was equally interested in hiring women as he was in hiring men – which is inoffensive.
This became a talking point, an obviously manufactured offense that was meant to demean someone outside of their circle for political purposes.
In Canada, the former Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, uttered the phrase, “Old-stock Canadians” contrasting people born in Canada from immigrants.
I am an old-stock Canadian, my girlfriend is an immigrant Canadian – the common denominator is Canadian and there’s nothing in the term “old-stock” that denotes superiority or a higher degree of Canadianism.
However, many of Harper’s political opponents once again manufactured offense.
3) Ignore the Left’s War Crimes
When Bill Clinton issued sanctions on Iraq that killed 500,000 civilians (many of whom were children) – the left was silent.
When George W. Bush went to war in Iraq they were outraged.
When Hillary Clinton urged Obama to incite a civil war in Syria the left was at ease.
When Hillary Clinton was determined by a UK parliamentary report to have lied about the motivation for Libya’s bombardment, the left was undeterred in their passion for her ascension to the presidency.
Your average Canadian is unmoved by Trudeau arming genocidal war criminals in Saudi Arabia.
While the American left willfully overlooked Obama’s drone strikes in Yemen, it had a visit from the “three ghosts” and learned the true meaning of ethics when Trump was sworn in and also used the drones.
The most unfortunate, and attested to fact of the left is that dead bodies do offend these people, but only when it’s the right who’s doing the killing. I honestly and sincerely wish that statement were hyperbole.
4) Pretending to Be Virtuous
Even the New York Times has reported that conservatives are far more charitable than liberals. In spite of the rhetoric, they don’t seem to actually care about poor people outside of lobbying to have other people spend money on them.
I’ve always dismissed the right wing argument that leftists are selfish and unwilling to adopt personal responsibility to be lowbrow, counterproductive, and anti-intellectual. However, the data suggests they have ulterior motives for their politics rather than the stated motive of charity.
5) Quote Jesus
The left’s credit they’re excellent at asserting the separation of Church and State when it comes to the overreaching politics of the right on issues such as same-sex marriage.
However, when their political goals can be progressed toward, they forget that Jesus had no political sagacity He wished to offer – He appears to have had little regard for Earthly affairs.
He did tell us to feed the poor, but as C.S. Lewis famously quipped – the Bible does not give lessons on cookery.
If capitalism feeds more people than socialism – Christ’s words are of little political assistance to the socialist.
He tells us to feed the poor but doesn’t give an economics lesson on how this is best accomplished.
Brandon Kirby
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