Increase in Crime Among New Zealanders Driven by Ban on Cigarettes

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New Zealand has just passed a law banning cigarettes for life for people who aren’t old enough yet to have the tangy tobacco taste hit their pubescent lungs. Reminiscent of their life already, kids today will be told that they “aren’t old enough” now for the rest of their lives when trying to buy cigarettes. These restrictions have led to a spike in graffiti and defacement of buildings. It’s thought that this increase in crime comes from kids who are interested in smoking, but who must instead use spray paint as an outlet for their rebellious feelings.

We asked one target of these colorful crimes, a local grandma, what she thought about the new law and the consequences it’s had on her house. She enthusiastically replied “I’m so happy that future generations won’t be able to pollute our parks and sidewalks with “durrie” butts. Although I’ve had to scrub expletives and pornographic images off the side of my house four times this week already, I’m willing to keep it up until the day I die if it means no more cigs.”

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Gage Hollingshead

Gage is the author behind the popular website Gage's Guide