"Don't those with Trump Derangement Syndrome want Mueller to have a more thorough investigation of Russian/Trump collusion in the 2016 election?" asks managing editor Dillon Eliassen in this edition of Shortcuts & Delusions.
"The next time someone tells you fascism is rife in Trump's America, remind them that our representing leaders are elected rather than hand-picked by outgoing tyrants, homosexuals can still go down on each other without the fear of life imprisonment
"Perhaps the most ambitious idea for retaliation for the Syrian chemical attack is to air drop DVD copies of 'The Room,' the derided and ironically loved movie starring and directed by Tommy Wiseau."
'“Look, I have a lot of experience dealing with crazy white guys with guns” - he began to say, before seeing a “no-go” gesture from all of his cabinet members and instantly switching gears. “So the bullets will go like
IMPOTENCE ______________ A Play In One Scene by Dillon Eliassen Dramatis Personae: Mildred: a lobbyist Natalie: a Pfizer marketing executive Eleanor: an activist and sexual psychologist Andrea: Director of "March Against The Patriarchy" Setting: an office on K Street, Washington, D.C. Spring, 2019 Mildred: Thank you, Andrea, for agreeing to
This is satire. WASHINGTON, D.C. - In response to Michael Wolff’s new best-selling book, which paints President Donald Trump as incompetent and unstable, Trump has threatened to write his own book disparaging his critics. After his lawyers failed to prevent Wolff’s book
This is satire. WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In his long-anticipated Martin Luther King, Jr. Day address, President Trump warned not to judge people “based on their color, or their hair, or where they come from, or how big a loan they got
The image above helpfully explains the "snafu" of the false ballistic missile attack warning that occurred in Hawaii on Saturday, January 13. The image is from this Washington Post story that states: Pushing the “wrong button” was the explanation provided in
Editor's Note: Dillon Eliassen has been living in exile for the past month after an altercation he was involved in with his nephew, William. William burned Mr. Eliassen's house down in retaliation for Mr. Eliassen trying to murder William in
#FakeNews: Trump relocates Israel’s capital to Jebel-Ali, improves Middle-Eastern relations JERUSALEM, Israel- In the first such incident in modern history, the entire world expressed condemnation when President Trump relocated Israel’s capital to the United Arab Emirates city of Jebel-Ali. Many thought that