The Spy Who Just Won’t Seem to Go Away


So I recently read this article from The Hill talking about how the FBI and DHS supposedly put together a comprehensive report about the Russians hacking the DNC and all I can say is, “Why are we still talking about this?”

I’m not normally one to use the term “conspiracy theorist” as a pejorative, but holy shit, this is some tin-foil hat wearing stuff.  Like, I’m still waiting for an explanation of how they managed to hack the paper ballots.

Just a thought, maybe Putin hid Saddam’s WMDs to make Bush look like a war criminal.

Do I even need to go any further?  Does anyone reading this seriously still think the Russian government had anything to do with our election?  Maybe I’ll keep going, if only to give you something to share with your friends who are still being dragged along behind this rickety runaway bandwagon.

Let’s suppose for a minute that I’m wrong.  Let’s suppose the Russians really did hijack the election to install Trump in place of Hillary and that’s the only reason she lost.  Well thank fucking God for that!

No one is denying that a Trump administration is something the Russians would prefer.  The only question is whether it’s something Americans should prefer, which I’ve already made the case for that several times in various ways.

Remember all those stories of Russia having mass drills and preparing for essentially nuclear war?  Why do you think they were doing that?  Is it because they’re led by Dr. Strangelove and just really like the thought of a Cold War rematch with the United States?

Is it because Putin sexually identifies himself as an attack helicopter?

No, it’s because they were scared of Hillary Clinton and the idea that she might launch WW3 against them.  Something they have no fear of (or at least less so) with Donald Trump.

If you were Russia, who would you want as President of America?  The woman behind the Russian Reset, or the guy who treats your leader as an equal and as potentially someone you can work with?  It’s really not that hard a choice for us or them.  And even if it’s one that ultimately benefits the Russians, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s deleterious to us, though that remains to be seen.

I’m not sure why there is this mentality that the United States and Russia must be perpetual enemies.  Our country was born hating Britain and France, too, yet now they’re our best friends.  As bad as Putin might be, he’s no Stalin and we’re not dealing with the USSR anymore.  There are certainly worse things in the world than the leaders of two nuclear superpowers getting along and kicking terrorist butt together.

Something else to consider is that even if Russia was involved in this, where do you think they most likely got their information from?  Smart money would say probably from John Podesta answering a phishing scam and Hillary’s unprotected bathroom server.  Maybe even some blackmail from a blue-balled Anthony Weiner.

No, please, I’d love to hear more about how you planned on protecting us from Russian cyber-attacks.

Perhaps the stupidest, most frustratingly obvious thing about this whole affair is how you never hear anyone say any of the leaked information was fake.  They never deny it.  They try to explain it away, deflect from it, sweep it under the rug, but at no point did anyone on the Left come out and say it wasn’t true.  Not about the rigged primaries or the contents of Podesta’s emails or the stuff about Hillary’s servers.

“A presumption will stand good until the contrary is proved.”  “Who does not deny admits.” So we can only conclude it’s all true.  That means that if Hillary lost only because of the Russians, it’s because the information they provided to Julian Assange, and hence to the American people, was true.

We can speculate all we want about whether someone else would have been better, but it won’t change what happened.  Regardless of what you might think of Trump, my dear liberals and Democrats, your candidate lost because everything the opposition said about them was true and the majority of the country would have rather had Donald “Literally Hitler” Trump than someone like that.  So what does that make those of you who still voted for her anyway, and who still continue to support her?

It’s ok.  Take all the time you need to think about it.

Alright, so what other excuses are people throwing around to try and justify this?  How about the Press Secretary coming out and saying they had evidence that Donald Trump knew about and encouraged the hacking?  Ok, great.  Some evidence, finally.  What is it?  Go on, fan it out, show it to me.  Oh, what’s that?  You’re not actually going to provide us with any details?  You’re just gonna keep beating this dead horse with a smear brush?  Guess you don’t have anything, then.

Actually, that’s not entirely true.  The Press Secretary did refer to that one time Donald Trump referenced Russia when he made a joke at Hillary’s expense.  You remember.  The one that basically went, “Hey Russia, if it turns out you really did hack her emails, mind sharing?  I’m sure the press would go nuts.”  And go nuts they did.

What about these 17 agencies that supposedly confirmed it?  Well, which agencies would those be exactly?  The CIA?  I’ll let John Perkins explain to you why you should never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, for any reason, give the CIA benefit of the doubt, especially when it comes to the topic of interfering with foreign elections:

Hell, they even got in trouble for tampering with our own elections, so why anyone would believe them in this is beyond me.

Clearly, a white supremacist Russian spy if ever I saw one.

How about the FBI?  Would that be the same FBI headed by James Comey – the same Comey that Bill and Hillary claim were responsible for helping to ruin her chances at winning the election?  I’m sure the Russians supplied him with plenty of hate facts and used some kind of psy-ops to trick Anthony Weiner into texting dick pics to minors too.

Perhaps the NSA?  The same NSA that judge Andrew Napolitano claims housed a disgruntled employee upset by the fact that Hillary might have gotten his friends killed with her lax security, who might have been another whistleblower?

Judge Napolitano’s claim actually makes a lot of sense when you think about it.  Thanks to people like Snowden, we know the NSA monitors all our devices, so it’d be reasonable to assume they kept track of the data on Hillary’s private server as well; except they can’t come out and explicitly say that without admitting definitively that that’s what they do, which would mean Snowden would be vindicated, the NSA would be history, and all this business about the Russians would disappear in a puff of smoke.

What about the DHS?  Well, you have the report.  You can read it yourself.  Let me know what you think in the comments, if there’s anything worth getting all hysterical about.

The fact is, there’s no evidence beyond the word of a few unaccountable John Doe’s and a joke made by Donald Trump.  Could have been the Russians, or China, or Iran, or some guy in New Jersey, or a DNC member, or an NSA member…who the hell really knows?  And does it even matter?

“How can you say it doesn’t matter?  Of course it matters!”

Because what ultimately matters, is the content and the fact that whoever it was that hacked/leaked this information was apparently a better journalist than the entire mainstream media.

But fine, I’ll admit espionage is something worth taking seriously.  Go investigate it if you really want, but stop making shit up to fuel the media-political complex’s propaganda engine and bring back some real hard evidence.  If you expect more than connect the dots when it comes to charging Hillary, then hold yourself to the same burden of proof.

With all the crying wolf that’s gone on in the last year, the gap is narrowing on the public’s willingness to believe anything you still have to say on the subject.  So best get to it before time runs out.

Either that, or get used to seeing a lot more of this for the next four years.

A number of people have made a great deal of fuss over Trump since he won, saying he’s backing out on his promises when the man hasn’t even taken office yet.  I seem to recall most of these people promising to move to Canada by now, so maybe they shouldn’t be so quick to throw stones.

Likewise, Californians were quick to join the Not My President Club, yet they too seem to be slow to follow through on their threat of secession.  Honestly, get rid of California, New York, and a handful of cities like Chicago or DC and most of the country that’s left leans pretty conservative, so maybe such a divorce would be best for all.

Hell, if Texas and South Carolina want to leave for their own reasons, that’s ok.  Secession’s not a partisan issue.  It’s the right to freedom of association expressed on a national level.

That goes for you libertarians, too.  Whatever happened to the Free State Project and the idea of taking over the “Live Free or Die” State with the goal of seceding to the Free Republic of New Hampshire? Ya know, because the system is rigged against us and there’s no difference between either side of the intolerably authoritarian monoparty Demopubilican coin?  Or did that die out with Gary Johnson’s political prospects?

Like the slogan for the Freeman State says: “Succeed or Secede.”  Our party didn’t win this year either, so …

Support him, impeach him, love him, leave him … Do whatever you’re gonna do, just please stop whining.

At this point, there’s less than a month to go before Trump formally takes office.  I’m willing to give him a hundred days’ worth of rope to hang himself with before reassessing whether my own support for him was justified or not.  He laid out a plan we can measure him by, so we’ll see what he can do.

A few weeks back, there was a meme going around about the five stages of grief as related to the election.  First stage was denial with #NeverTrump.  Second stage was anger with #NotMyPresident.  Third stage was bargaining with #Recount2016.  Around this time, I predicted that depression would set in when the counts came back with even more votes in Trump’s favor.  Turns out, I was right.  Granted, there were only a negligible number of them, but it was still nowhere near the upset Jill Stein and the Left were hoping it to be.

While many Trump supporters were celebrating the win after November 8th, a few still played it cautiously, not wanting to count their chickens before December 20th since the Electoral College could still potentially override the vote.  Turns out that didn’t happen either, though funnily enough Ron Paul got a vote and he wasn’t even in the running.

I know we just had Christmas, but…

In my Facebook feed, I see a lot of crap about how Obama’s supposedly going to try and push for a third term or do this that and the other thing.  Reality check, he’s not doing anything to keep Trump out of office.  This is just more hyperbolic bullshit.  He may be in favor of big government and violating the Constitution when it suits him, but he’s not that arrogant or that stupid to even try. There’s your fake news right there.

So really, the only card left for the Democrats to play is to keep hammering away with this Russian influence story, which hopefully will fizzle out sooner rather than later, collapsing into a black hole under its own weight and pulling the entire Democratic Party establishment with it.

Regardless of what you think of Trump and Hillary as candidates or people in general, this whole Russian hacking thing is starting to reek of desperation and a need for self-affirmation, like a washed-up queen bee clinging to memories of her senior year in high school and how she were cheated out of being crowned prom queen.  Hillary lost and Trump won.  That’s the long and short of it.  It’s high time for America to move on to the Acceptance phase.

* Marushia Dark is a fantasy novel writer, founder of The Freeman State, and an admin at Just Statist Things. You can follow them on Facebook and Twitter.

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